Zhenya
by FabledFigment
Summary: River pilots Jayne to visit his mother. Two years Post BDM. Joss is boss. I just play with the shiny toys. Rayne.
1. Complications

"Hey Mal." Jayne entered the kitchen exuding apprehension.

River found the flavor of it rather disconcerting.

Jayne was supposed to be bold and daring. The alpha male.

It always seemed totally off to see him deferring to Mal, even though he did do it regularly.

"Can I borrow the shuttle and the, um…" His eyes darted to River. He winced, "Pilot when we get to Hera?"

Mal looked a little frozen. "Where do you want to go and why?"

This was an unusual request coming from Jayne, River perked up all her senses. She was always interested when her partner did something unexpected.

Jayne's face screwed up like he was saying something he'd rather not. "Sibersk. Its a suburb of Stari Novgorod."

"Never heard of it." Mal glanced at Zoë who shook her head just enough to indicate she had no further knowledge.

"And if I didn't trust you, you never would have." Jayne grimaced at his own belligerent tone. It was two years after Ariel, but the two men still silently argued about that day. "It's my hometown. I wanna go see my Ma."

"Oh." Mal looked around. "Couldn't Inara…"

Inara set her teacup down with a click. "I'm booked solid from the moment we hit atmo until you return from your misbegotten adventure." She stood and swept out of the room.

Mal and Inara were fighting again. She didn't have sex with her clients anymore, but Mal had some major trust issues.

"If I know my Ma, we'll get some quality foodstuffs out of the visit." Jayne said, in way of a bribe.

Mal grunted.

"Come on." Jayne whined. "It's the meet, not the job. Sibersk is half the world away from Pericropoli. Without the shuttle it will take too long. It's been years since I saw Ma. How would you feel to be on the same rock and not visit?"

"Let me get this straight." Mal said. "You, Jayne Cobb, toughest man on the rim… you grew up on Hera?"

"Well, yeah." He looked around. "So what?"

"Hera is a core world."

"Yeah." Jayne shrugged. "So?" He looked around at his crewmates. "Hell. Why is everyone I ever tell so gorram surprised at where I come from?"

River laughed, she could feel the sound shattering in the air. "Because Hera is so out of character for the persona you have cultivated. I have no objection to ferrying him, Captain." It might even be fun.

"Well, I do." Mal sputtered. "I've got an important meet with an influential client who wants us to pull off complicated crime and my muscle wants to go to Sibersk."

"Take Simon." Jayne suggested. "He'll fit into the crowd better than I would. Just don't let him be the one doing the talking. That only works in hospitals."

"What sort of foodstuffs?" Mal asked, clearly giving in.

"Donno. Preserves, kielbasa, the hottest beet salat you'd ever want to eat the whole bowl of. Hard to say." Jayne shrugged, knowing Mal had given in by just asking.

"Alright. I'll take Simon and Zoë to the meet. How long will you be?"

"A week?" Jayne was hopeful, but his voice indicated he knew it was too long. River would have taken a different tone.

"Two days." Mal offered.

"Three and… renegotiate after the job." Jayne was begging like a puppy, all wide eyed and cute.

River mentally backpedaled a little. Not cute, something else. Something big and not cute, like a bear or an ostrich. Ostriches aren't cute are they?

"Overnight and get us all an invite to dinner after the job." It was Mal's final offer.

"Like that'd even be hard." Jayne shone with more real pleasure than River had ever observed in him. She fought the urge to shield her eyes. It wouldn't help anyway.

"No guns, bring your sword." Jayne said from the hallway. He was leaning against the wall opposite her door.

River looked up from the clothing strewn across her bed. "My sword?"

They were three hours out and she was only now finding time to pack for a night on a core world.

Jayne nodded, leaned slightly towards her then pressed against the wall again.

River eyed him, Read him. He was holding himself back from invading her space. Oddly considerate for Jayne.

She thought about it a little and realized she couldn't remember him ever being so close to her room. Strange.

He looked cleaner than she'd ever seen him. She stared long enough for him to look away uneasily.

That's when she pinpointed the difference. He'd shaved his goatee off.

Jayne wasn't half bad looking in a plain black t-shirt and dressy black pants. He'd even bloused his trouser legs attractively out of his boots.

River was generally honest with herself, but she didn't want to admit she thought he looked handsome.

River caught sight of the long wide knife at his hip where a gun usually would be.

"Yeah, the sword." He said, trying to break the awkwardness she was causing. "There's some tricky firearms laws on Hera. It's better to skirt all the way around them."

River crossed the room to him, a little confused at her reaction to the basic change in his appearance. He was still Jayne she reminded herself. Crude, mean Jayne. Her coarser half.

"May I?" She indicated the weapon, which she'd never seen before. A convenient excuse to come closer to him.

"Yeah." He drew the knife and handed it to her. To him it was a long knife. To her it was practically a short sword.

"Nice balance." She turned away and swung it through the air. She stopped after only a moment, confused again at the surge of lustful thoughts her actions inspired in her friend. Her partner.

"Nice piece of steel." River said, handing the weapon back to him.

Jayne sighted down the blade. "Yeah, my first real deadly weapon." He turned it over in his hands then sheathed it.

"You packing?" He asked, knowing she was.

"Yes." River frowned at the clothes spilled over the table. "What attire would be appropriate?" They were going to his home, after all.

"Skirts." Jayne's mouth turned down a little. "Got anything below the knee? And blouses with sleeves," He touched her arm just above the elbow. "At least to here."

River looked at his finger on her arm, then up at his face. She felt another curling of heat in her belly. Not a feeling Jayne should inspire.

She looked away. "I think I can come up with something."

"Shoes." Jayne said.

River looked back into his face in time to see his teasing grin.

"I often wear shoes these days." She lifted her leg to show him the soft soled slippers she wore around the ship.

The admiration he felt for her calf made her drop her leg again. He always caressed her with his eyes, didn't he? Why was it bothering her more today?

"Yeah." He said quietly. "I know."

River turned away, seeking to analyze the odd spell that was suddenly lacing them together. She snatched a brown dress off the bed.

"Long enough?" She held it up to her chest.

Jayne nodded.

"Not trousers?" She held up a pair.

"Not the right impression." He said uneasily.

River caught wisps of thought identifying pants with loose women.

River agreed. No trousers.

"Well, I'll see you in the shuttle in a couple of hours then." Jayne said.

River watched him leave, a little confused. What was that really about?

He was so complicated sometimes.


	2. Homeward

Preflight checklist complete.

River patted the shuttle console.

She felt an odd affection for the unused shuttle. It felt so lonely to only be used in emergencies.

She was glad they were taking it for an outing.

Gruff cursing caught her attention.

"Jayne?" River hopped up from the pilot seat and went to see what was wrong.

Jayne's duffle was problematic. It was filling the hatchway and he wasn't able to enter.

"Here, take this." Jayne handed the huge bag into the shuttle.

River took it, not actually expecting to be able to lift it. It was light, as if he had stuffed it full of feathers. Pound of feathers…

No. No Physics class flashbacks. She had a job to do.

Jayne followed his bag inside, carrying another, smaller bag.

He took the first bag from her and stowed both next to the little overnight bag River had borrowed from Zoë.

Jayne grinned at her. "Everything ready?" His brightness of spirit almost blinded her. He was so excited to be going home.

River smiled tentatively back. "Yes. All systems check out. Separation in two minutes."

"Before we hit atmo?" Jayne was surprised.

"Yes." River turned back to the console. "Optimal flight paths indicate separate atmospheric insertion."

"Right." Jayne closed the hatch, checked it and took the passenger seat.

Despite all the flaws Jayne undoubtedly had, he could always be counted on to observe safety protocol… if his own life might be at stake. It was nice to have someone as thorough as that around.

"Is there someone on the ground you wish to contact?" River asked. "We'll be there in ten minutes."

"Uh, yeah, I guess so." Jayne brushed his palms against his pant legs.

"Go right ahead." River invited, indicating the WAVE screen.

"Yeah, right." He sniffed and set the controls.

A pretty, grey haired woman filled the screen.

"Hey, Ma." Jayne smiled fondly down her. "We're about ten minutes out."

"_Zdorova_. I'll be there. I reserved shuttle berth A39 for you. Mention that when you speak with ground control. _Do skorovo_."

"Yeah. See you on the ground." Jayne clicked the screen off again.

River pulled translations from his mind. His mother exclaimed 'wonderful' then that last was, 'until a soon meeting." Loose, very loose translations.

River studiously double checked all her settings and calculations. She put the new berth number into the computer and contacted the ground again.

When she was done she glanced over at Jayne. He was watching her work. She smiled slightly.

Jayne cleared his throat and looked out the front window. They had a nice view of the planet and the neck of _Serenity_ .

The console chirped. Time to go. River contacted the bridge.

"_Serenity_, we are ready for separation."

"Looks good." Mal replied. "See you tomorrow."

River disengaged the shuttle from _Serenity_, and fired the thrusters in a specific calculated sequence.

Jayne was silent while she piloted them down. River felt his eyes on her the whole way. He wasn't watching what she was doing, he was watching her.

River refused to let herself be disconcerted. He didn't usually watch her so blatantly.

Jayne waited until the shuttle was nestled securely on the ground. He even waited until the engines were turned off. Then he bolted from his seat and exited the shuttle.

River snorted. He was such an infant.

She went through the post flight checklist completely, before locking the shuttle controls.

River followed Jayne out the hatch, not sure exactly what she was expecting the ape-man's mother to be like.

The woman was tall, well dressed. Probably stylish if River could judge by the clothes of the other women in the street.

They weren't really in a shipyard, this was a neighborhood shuttle port. It was picturesque. Trees lining the walkways, pretty shops across the wide square.

"River, this is Nona Illyanavok, my mother." He was so proud and happy, that River decided not to ask the obvious questions about nomenclature.

"Mama, this is River." Jayne said.

"A pleasure." The older woman shook River's hand, then turned back to Jayne.

River watched, bemused, as mother and son exchanged a dozen rapid fire lines in a language she had never heard before, much less studied.

With just a little snooping she could have followed the gist of it in his brain, but she didn't do that anymore. Not to colleagues.

Finally Jayne held up his hands.

"_Mama, yehyo ne goverit po-ruski_." Mama, she doesn't speak in Ruski.

That last meaning came across quite clearly.

His mother looked embarrassed.

"No, of course she doesn't." Nona turned to River. "So, my son tells me you're a pilot." The older woman had an accent, but not a strong one.

"Yes, ma'am." River darted her eyes between them.

"Isn't that dangerous work for one so young?"

"Mama!" Jayne rolled his eyes.

"Perhaps." River agreed, starting to like Nona, even if she didn't quite understand her. "But I assure you I'm capable."

Nona grinned. That must have been the right answer.

"_Domoi_?" Jayne said in a hopeful tone. One word that seemed to imply 'Shall we go homewards.'

Nona chuckled. She tucked River's hand into the crook of her arm. "The car is this way." She patted River's captive hand.

River glanced back for her bag, only to find Jayne already had it across his shoulder in addition to hauling both of his bags.

Still feeling bemused, River allowed Nona to lead her away from the shuttle.

The aircar was parked in an attended lot about a block away. It wasn't sleek or fancy, but it was an expensive model, similar to the one her nanny had always used to pick her up after school.

River settled into the back seat, allowing Jayne to sit up with his mother. They chatted, half in English, half in their 'Ruski' language.

River was sure that was not an accurate translation of the word, because it did not match the list of preserved ethnic languages she had memorized in school.

The one thing River picked up in their ten minute drive was that his mother didn't call him 'Jayne.' When she said his name it was more like Jayn-ye or Jen-yeh or even Zhen-ya.

River watched them interact. She'd never seen Jayne so relaxed and happy. When they reached their destination, Jayne jumped out and opened their doors for them.

River tried to tell herself not to feel shocked by this civilized consideration, but this was Jayne, so the shock felt justified.

He retrieved their bags and called "Come on!" over his shoulder as he followed his mother towards the house.

River surveyed the street as she followed them. Each house sat back from the street on a well manicured lawn. Most had at least one aircar outside, even in the middle of the day.

The next door neighbors apparently had children. Three child sized bicycles leaned against the front porch and brightly colored toys dotted the grass. Despite the clutter, the lawn was as well groomed as any other on the row.

As she approached the front door, River became aware of the rich scent of the flowerbeds on either side of the porch steps.

The door opened as she got to it. Jayne was grinning out at her.

"You'll like this." He said as he let her inside. "Shoes get left in the hall."

Perhaps it was the small unfamiliar space, but River was extremely conscious of his presence as he smiled down at her. They stared into each other's eyes for long enough that his smile faded.

River broke the gaze first, crouching down to remove her shoes.

Jayne watched her a moment before kneeling to loosen his own bootlaces.

River placed her shoes in the line by the door and looked around the room. It was an entryway.

A long narrow table graced one wall, home to a vase of flowers, several tiny decorative jars and a silver hairbrush. A mirror was hung above the table, reflecting the elaborately patterned rug hanging on the wall opposite.

Another rug ran along the center of the hall with enough room on either side to show off the wooden floor beneath.

Jayne arranged his boots next to her shoes.

River was fairly sure the sight of their shoes side by side should not make her stomach flutter.

"She'll feed us." Jayne was smiling again. More fluttering. "I know you don't eat much, so go really slow. Just don't stop putting food in your mouth unless you're talking, yeah?"

River nodded. Jayne reached up to brush a lock of her hair out of her face. He snatched his hand back, even though she didn't let herself flinch.

"Come on. She's been cooking since I first WAVEd two days ago." He turned down the hall, looking happier than a man with a free whore. River shook her head and followed.

He led her through a room set up more like an art gallery than a living room. Jayne didn't pause to investigate the pieces on display, but instead bounded past into the kitchen.

River followed more slowly, trying to take in everything.

"Leina!" Jayne bellowed as he cleared the door.

River was drawn forward, watching as her partner lifted the woman in a big hug and swung her in a circle before setting her back on her feet.

"River, come meet my cousin." Jayne enthused. "Leina, this is our pilot, River."

"Very nice to meet you." She smiled at River. Then she batted Jayne's shoulder. "Let me go, Zhenya, I have to get the plates down."

Jayne kissed her head noisily and let her go.

"_Sidee_." Sit. Nona said, "Sit, sit." She held out a chair for River. "Right here, _mil-i-a_." An endearment.

Then Nona pointed a finger at Jayne. "Leave your cousin alone, Zhenya." She pinched his cheek. "Oh, it's so good to have you home."

River sat where she was bid and folded her hands in her lap. The table in front of her was already laden with food. She counted twenty six dishes, most of them unfamiliar to her.

Hopefully Jayne's mother didn't expect the two of them to eat all this. Even Jayne would have a hard time.

"Who all is coming?" Jayne asked as he sat across the table from River.

"Mattie will be home from work at four, Uncle Kolya and Aunt Sonja are on their way over…" Leina went on and on. Jayne's grin got bigger and bigger.

River's stomach knotted. So many people.

"You alright?" Jayne hissed across the table.

River blinked at him.

"You ain't going all… batty are you?"

"I'm fine." River said, running her fingers along the rim of the plate Leina sat in front of her.

Twelve people ended up lining the overburdened kitchen table.

More people were in the house, but the children were introduced and sent downstairs to the basement and an adult or three went down to supervise.

The banished children returned periodically, singly and in pairs to raid the feast, sneaking in to avoid disturbing the robust conversation of the grownups.

Some of the people didn't stay, they brought a gift, often food, greeted the prodigal and left again.

River was more than a little shell shocked.

River barely got an impression of Jayne's brother Mattie. He was an accountant. Her head was too wool stuffed to gather more information.

The food was excellent and plentiful.

She did get a little tired of being told to '_ku-shee'_ repeatedly by every female member of Jayne's family. Apparently that meant 'stuff your face faster' since they said it every time her fork stopped moving.

The Aunt occasionally added "you're too thin," or "modern stick girls don't get real men."

Even with her psychic abilities, River couldn't follow the conversation. She could usually tell what Jayne was saying, but his was the only brain she knew intimately.

Leina's husband Derrick tried to talk to her, but they were at opposite ends of the table and the rest drowned them out. Jayne's family was vigorous in their conversation.

She resorted to taking extremely tiny bites of the wonderful food and drinking too much of the very fine current wine. She was almost sure it was home brewed.

River observed until the dishes were nearly empty. Then she decided the issue needed to be addressed.

"Jayne." River said through a break in the conversation.

The whole table was suddenly focused on her.

"I take it neither English nor Chinese was your first language?" She loaded irony into her voice.

" I Neyt /I , er no." Jayne looked sheepish.

"Right." River cocked her head at him. "And this is what language, then?"

Jayne darted his eyes around at his family. "Um, Russian."

"Right. Two more questions." River stood, whacked him soundly across the skull. "Why didn't you warn me?"

She looked at the assembled, embarrassed looking relatives. "And does anyone have a language learning course?" She smiled as she sat back down.

Derrick laughed first, but the rest of the table followed.

"I like this girl." Slurred Grandpa Nikolai, who had single handedly downed half a bottle of the clear liquor the men were drinking. He reached across the table and patted her hand.

"I have a nice set of beginner tapes." Derrick offered. "I was just saving them for the next outsider spouse."

River and Jayne exchanged an alarmed look.

"Then I'll return them to you when I've finished them." River said with dignity. "So the next spouse can have use of them."

"You aren't…?" Leina asked.

River laughed. "I'm just the pilot. The captain doesn't let _Jein-yeh_ fly the shuttle."

* * *

Note: So, why did I make him Russian? Was it the years I spent studying the language? Was it a play on the famous phrase Simon uses to stop River in the BDM?

No, it was all about the name. Zhenya. A diminutive for both the masculine Yevgeni and the feminine Yevgenia. Jayne ain't a girl.


	3. In Context

When the last guest left Nona looked around at the mess.

The ladies, River included, had already packed the remnants of the food into the refrigerator, but that left dishes and general disorder.

"Lets go upstairs." Nona suggested. "The studio may be the last comfortable room."

Jayne grinned over at River. "She'd never settle if there's the least mess nearby." He half whispered.

Nona hugged her son around the waist. "Zhenya, so good to have you home." She repeated for the umpteenth time.

He leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "Oh, speaking of studio, I'll be right up." Jayne bounded towards the entry hall.

"Oi, so much energy." Nona complained.

She led River to a door and a flight of stairs. "He'll make a good father." Nona boasted, eyeing River sideways. "Did you see how the little ones clung to him?"

"Yes." River replied.

That was indeed something she had noticed. After dinner. When the adults had joined the children in the fully finished basement.

Jayne got right on the floor with the children and let them climb. One adorable toddler in particular, Galya, a little girl in a frilly purple dress, had seemed to consider him a jungle gym.

"Are you sure you're not…" Nona peered back at her.

"I'm sorry, but no." River chuckled. "Zhenya did warn me to expect that question over and over."

"He's a good son." Nona said in the tone of a woman who had never seen him pull a gun. "Here we are."

Nona activated the lighting and led River into a large room with a high ceiling.

The first thing that caught her eye was color. Every imaginable shade winked at her in a huge rainbow across the opposite wall.

River was filled with an urgent desire to go run her fingers over the rich hues. She crossed the room, realizing as she did so that she was looking at thousands of balls of yarn.

River, trained to politeness from infancy, clasped her hands behind her back.

"Touch." Nona invited softly.

River reached out her hand. The textures were nearly as varied as the colors.

"Ma!" Jayne bounded into the room like a puppy. "I brung you a _padaruk_."

A present River translated as she turned to watch him.

Jayne had the larger of his two duffle bags. He looked around. "Grandpa Nicolai make those shelves for you?"

"Derrick." Nona corrected, shaking her head. "Papa's hands don't hold hammers anymore."

Jayne nodded. "Got a table?"

"I can clear one." Nona smiled.

She led them to a high table near one wall. Dozens of little abstractly knitted shapes were laid out on a cloth. Nona carefully rolled them into the cloth and laid it aside.

Still looking as bouncy as Kaylee on a good day, Jayne plopped the bag on the table and unzipped it.

Nona laughed and hugged her son. "You do know me, don't you."

The bag was stuffed so full of yarn that balls jumped out as soon as they were freed.

"I've collected them as many places as I could find them." Jayne explained. "I labeled each one with where it was from and who made it if I could figure that out. Some of them I couldn't, so there's just a place. Fiber content too if I could get the info."

Nona was laughing and pawing through the bounty. River helped her organize by color.

"So, you liked this did you?" Nona held up two bags full of dark grey wool.

Jayne shrugged. "Thought maybe it looked like a fancy cable sweater. If you ever do those anymore."

"For you, my boy, my Zhenya." Nona cupped his cheek. "I will for you. Lets sit down."

The opposite end of the room held four overstuffed chairs arranged around a table. Nona sat in one and immediately picked up the knitting in front of her on the table.

River sat too, on the edge of the comfortable chair. Colorful felted bowls held a variety of tools and knitting needles. One, oddly enough, was full of marbles. More tools, including several pairs of scissors lay scattered across the table.

Jayne looked around the room before joining them. He was radiating an intense 'feeling at home' emotion.

He scooped up a basket from the corner and brought it to the table with him.

"Here, genius girl, play with this." He tossed a big tangled knot on the table in front of her and chose another for himself.

River looked at him skeptically but was soon picking the loops apart earnestly.

Jayne untangled half a dozen messes while she worked on the one.

Nona and Jayne chatted amiably while they worked. River was quiet for so long that they slipped back into Russian without actually noticing.

River eventually drifted off to sleep in the comfortable chair, letting the foreign words wash over her without comprehension.

River slept late.

The house had a gentle tranquility of spirit that lulled her defenses. So much so, that every time she woke, she was able to drift back to sleep.

The last time she woke, she wasn't very surprised to see she was still dressed. Jayne - Zhenya - must have carried her to bed. She stared at the white ceiling above her, focusing outwards.

Jayne was in the back yard with three of the little boys she'd met last night. They were laughing and playing some game involving a ball.

River smiled.

He was rather like an overlarge child himself, of course he'd be good with children.

Nona was up in the studio working.

Leina was finishing up the after-party clean up in the basement. She had another child with her, the little toddling girl, Galya, who was introduced as Galina.

The three in the back with Jayne were Leina's children too. They all lived next door in the house Leina grew up in. Her parents now lived across town in a posh flat.

River washed up, changed and went outside to join them. Him.

When she appeared at the door, Jayne sent the boys to play in the yard next door.

"Sleep well?" He asked, coming to a stop a few feet from the porch.

"Yes, thank you." River left the doorway and sat on the back steps.

After a moment of hesitation, Jayne joined her.

"Why did you insist I bring my sword?" She was the only woman who had come armed last night. In fact, only a couple of the men had.

"Already told you, there's weapon laws." He looked confused. "I didn't want you to bring a gun."

"I didn't have to come armed at all." River raised her eyebrows at him. In fact she'd left her blade up in the guest room.

Jayne scowled, looking at her, then away. "Would you have been comfortable weaponless?"

"Among your family?" She paused considering. "Possibly."

River watched as thoughts flitted through his skull. She didn't pry, his thought processes were evident in his eyes.

"You wouldn't have." She said aloud, even though she meant it to be a silent observation.

Jayne grunted.

He felt… lonely, or possibly it was exposed, not to be carrying a gun. He couldn't help feeling a little guilty that he felt that way in his own home.

He also knew she felt what he was feeling. It was illustrative of their continually progressing relationship that he didn't get angry about it, he just knew and accepted it. Accepted her.

There was comfort there.

"I like your mother." River offered after the silence grew oppressive.

"She likes you." Jayne fiddled with the ball he was still holding. "I knew she would."

They were quiet again. River could feel his eyes on her. After a while she realized his gaze was glued on her neckline and the slight cleavage displayed there.

She probed his thoughts lightly. He wished he could see just a little more of the curve of her breast. If she would just lean forward…

River stopped herself, she hadn't meant to act on his thoughts.

She glanced down without moving her head and felt heat rise in her cheeks. She was more amused than offended. That embarrassed her too.

She definitely shouldn't be displaying. This was Jayne.

River turned her head towards Jayne suddenly enough to note the guilty look on his face as he wrenched his eyes to more suitable portions of her anatomy.

"So." She tried not to let her amusement show. "Kolya was introduced as Nikolai, Misha as Mikhail and Sasha as Alexander." These were the names of the three boys he had just been playing with. "What about Zhenya?"

Jayne turned away, squinting at nothing. "Yevgeni."

He threw the ball. It sailed through the tire swing across the yard and ricocheted off the plank fence.

"And you call yourself Jayne because…?"

He eyed her, then looked away, blowing out a breath. "Most of the 'Verse cain't say Yevgeni. It bothers me when folk mangle the name my Ma gave me."

River leaned forward, propping her elbows on her knees and arranging her skirt around her ankles. She was careful to put her shoulder between his eyes and her cleavage.

"That makes sense, Yevgeni." She carefully pronounced it correctly.

Jayne grunted. "I've been Jayne since my first job. Don't even much mind anymore."

River nodded. "What about Cobb?"

"Instead of Illyanavok?" He chuckled. "Similar reason. Since I was running away from home I made up a last name. Nobody could pronounce it either, so it ended up at Cobb. Later, once I'd made a few enemies, I didn't want anyone to trace back to home, so Cobb stuck too."

River watched the boys play tag or keep away with some odd rules only they knew. They used the fence between the two yards in some way. They seemed used to having the run of both properties.

"Mal always claims you're a solitary animal who has no allegiance anywhere. That never has been true, has it, Jayne? Seeing you with your family has shown me that."

"Never stopped being a member of this family." Jayne agreed. Knowing River would catch the nuances.

"You're a pack animal." River extended her metaphor. "Am I a member of your pack Jayne?"

Jayne looked at her like she'd gone daft. "If you gotta ask that, maybe you ain't the super genius folk keep saying you are."

"Oh, I know the answer. I just wasn't quite sure you did." She grinned, showing all her teeth.

"What, that you're my partner? One of the few people I'd do anything for? Like Ma or Leina or Mattie?" Jayne smiled faintly. "Even play human shield if there was no other way? I've know that a long time."

"Really? How long?" River was genuinely surprised.

"Since Miranda, no, since after." He sighed. "The ion moon, the blast doors."

"Oh, I thought you would say after Ariel." River turned away, not sure why she was biting her lip.

Jayne looked at her like she was crazy. "I still… But after Ariel…" Jayne laughed and ruffled her hair.

River elbowed him in the ribs. Hard.

"You've been back since you first left?" She got the impression he had.

"Twice." He agreed. "Thought I was home to stay the first time, but my hands started itching and I went off again."

"Our life suits you." River observed.

"Yeah," He frowned towards the tire swing. "And the girl I liked wanted someone else."

River peered up at him, "You aren't entirely unattractive." She said, mostly because she sensed he needed to hear it.

Jayne just grunted, but River knew he was glad she'd said it.

"But that doesn't change my mind about not sexing you." River immediately regretted the words. She meant them as a joke, but she could tell as they left her lips that he wouldn't laugh.

Foremost in his mind was a simple, shocked and hurt thought.

_'I didn't need to hear you say that.'_

Just loud enough for her to hear without trying.

That was all and River felt ashamed of herself.

"I never asked you to sex me." He said finally.

That led to another prolonged silence. He was considering her more openly than usual.

River fought down a shiver. He liked what he saw, but now, more than ever, he didn't want her to know.

The children ran back over, yelling for Uncle Zhenya, distracting both adults from their discomfort.

* * *

Um… hot blush Sorry to subject you to (another) blatant Mary Sue, but um, well… sticks out tongue I totally want a studio like Nona's. 


	4. Conflagration

The job wasn't half as complicated as Mal made it out to be. Not once River took hold of the planning.

Steal cash from an extensively guarded vault. Simple.

Blow up an unoccupied building. Simple.

Never contact the client again. Simple.

Both the vault and the building were insured. The client wanted the insurance money.

It would not only replaced the value of what they stole, but would also fund the cost of rebuilding the site into a more lucrative row of shops instead of a run down office building.

River took charge of the vault with Zoë's assistance. The client gave them access codes, but it was more convincing if she didn't use them. River enjoyed finesse.

Mal and Jayne were in charge of setting the explosives. River had helped in the design of that scheme as well.

The client had some nice, powerful explosives stored in the warehouse. He rather expected them to be used directly.

Too obvious. He would never get the insurance money that way.

Based on a structural analysis, River instructed Mal where to place their own, weaker explosives.

They would be arrayed around the perimeter in such a way that the client's property would go boom as a secondary explosion.

Elegant. Beautiful.

River had a fine career as an demolitionist to look forward to.

As a nice touch, a local teenager gang would be blamed. They had a reputation for setting bombs.

River expected the police to make the connection, even though this was slightly more complex than the teenagers' usual destruction.

Research. Finesse. Show time.

The teams separated. River had it timed. They should be in and out in fifteen minutes.

River flung her little disk grenade into the center of the vault room. It hissed and let off a fine mist of particles that highlighted the mess of lasers that criss crossed the room.

River observed them for a moment. No problem.

The line was first. She shot the suction cup arrow. It landed perfectly on her mark, trailing the rope that would bring them their loot without setting off the alarms.

She danced across the floor, avoiding all the lasers successfully.

Vault door. She attached the little black device Kaylee made for her and pressed the little black button.

A click and a green light on the vault control panel. She smiled as the vault hissed open a crack.

That pinkish smoke was the reason for her respirator. Knockout gas filled the vault while it was locked. The vault thought it was still locked.

She slid into the vault and looked around. As described.

She opened a case at random. Coin. As described.

She pulled each item off the shelf, took everything to the line and allowed Zoë to pull it out of the vault room.

On an eye level shelf, River left a calling card.

The words _Your Kindness Is Excessive_ inscribed in beautiful Chinese letters. Inara did the calligraphy for them.

Copying another thief. Ensuring the client would be reimbursed.

River closed the vault, pressed the green button on the device and removed it from the wall.

She disengaged her arrow, let Zoë pull it back, then left the room the same way she entered it.

Dancing.

She picked up the spent disk on her way out. Leave no trace.

Mal and Jayne met them a moment later. No one spoke. They all loaded items from the vault into the two black bags which had housed the explosives.

River added the respirator to the bag and shook down her braids. She ignored Jayne's admiring scrutiny of her neck. Her neck? She furrowed her brow at him.

River slipped back into the long vest that transformed her outfit from catburglar to girl out on the town. She fastened the three closures, knowing Jayne was watching her fingers move.

River led the way out, still feeling Jayne's eyes on her. She needed to do something about that. Problem was she wasn't sure what.

Once they were outside the building they split up again. Mal and Zoë took the loot and went to a bus stop.

Jayne and River went to an alley. They got to stay and make the place go boom. They waited for the bus too.

He stopped watching her. He made himself look elsewhere. That was almost as perturbing as knowing exactly which of her curves attracted him.

Once Mal, Zoë and the 50,000 platinum were on their way back to _Serenity_, Jayne and River moved again. They needed to be a little further away from this boom to be safe.

They stood in the shadow of a building and Jayne held the detonator in his hand.

"We ready?" He looked down at River.

She looked up into his face and felt a nearly audible click. She could see them both as if from outside herself.

She suddenly knew exactly what she wanted to do about their mutual attraction. Physical intimacy was the only unexplored facet of their otherwise seamless bond. A connection she intensely desired. Would pursue.

"Set." She replied.

He pressed the red detonator button. River counted the distant series of pops. Ten.

Then the big one. Jayne hunched over her when the main blast came, it was bigger than either of them really expected.

Fiery debris flew. Scorched the alley beside them. The wave of heat tried to steal their breath away.

River shivered and leaned into Jayne's chest. He hesitated, then tucked her into a hug, shielding her.

They were partners. Was she surprised they matched?

They relied on each other as implicitly as Cap'n'Zoe did. Say the names as one word like Kaylee sometimes did.

While the fires raged behind him and she huddled in his arms, she tried their names together. Riv'n'Jayne. Jay'n'Rivr.

"Hope nobody was closer to that than we were." He muttered.

"They weren't." River replied, looking up at him. "I would have sensed them."

Jayne nodded slightly, looking down at her. Neither of them was surprised by the attraction that flared between them. Both of them were surprised that neither of them pulled away.

River didn't do precognition.

These sudden images of a blissful forever: children and flowerbeds were not a prediction of a incontrovertible future.

They were ghosts of an abandoned one. Daily revived, always discarded. Sad.

Staring into his soul, she liked what she saw.

Strength. Character. Intensity for her.

"Detonator." River reminded him.

"Right." Jayne looked at the little device in his hand.

He flipped a little switch on the thing and tossed it into a nearby dumpster. The trash was already on fire because of debris from the blast, so the little pop of the exploding detonator didn't make much difference.

They walked away from the smoldering warehouse together.

Three blocks away they climbed into an aircar. The Ariel ambulance engine refitted with a less conspicuous car frame. Kaylee would fit it back into the mule once they were in the black again.

It was rather a shame. River liked having a proper city car again. She'd only convinced her nanny to let her drive a couple of times.

River took the driver's seat and smiled at her partner in crime.

"Could have gone worse." River said.

Jayne laughed. River piloted them past the jobsite, two streets over. Jayne craned his neck to look at the police and fire vehicles already arriving at the scene.

River hoped they wouldn't be stopped. They had planed for it. The aircar showed a flight path that did not start suddenly where they just took off, just in case.

She wasn't sure the program would bear much scrutiny. It would be surer if they were asked for it after the fact as part of an investigation. Not that they would still be on planet.

"Don't think it coulda been better, though." He grinned, turning back to her.

River felt warm, as if that had been actual praise of her.

"Lets stop for Chinese food on the way home." River grinned.

"You buying?" He grinned back.

"Enough for the whole crew." She confirmed.

Mal was only miffed at the change in the plan until she opened the first takeout box. Real Vegetables.

* * *

"Zhenya?" River paused in the doorway. She could feel his aura from here. Heat curled in her belly.

Jayne looked up from the magazine he was reading. Then he sat up straighter on the couch, moving his boot onto the floor.

"You don't have to call me that." He threw his magazine onto the low table.

"But you don't mind if I do?" She asked quietly.

"Naw, not really." He smiled. He genuinely enjoyed her presence. He would rather talk to her than stare at gun schematics.

She entered the room. They were heading back to Hera in a round about way for Mal's promised crew dinner.

There were four stops to make in the meantime. All four were small jobs that seemed unimportant now that they were flush with cash. Nevertheless, it was important to keep their contacts fresh.

River took a moment to mentally make sure the crew was all where she expected them to be. She might never try this again if she was interrupted. It had taken her days to work up her courage. Seduction was not her forte.

She opened her mouth. Instead of her planned phrases, these words emerged. "I've been watching the Cortex. Our client got the insurance money he was asking for."

"That was quick." Jayne's lips quirked upwards.

"We did a good job of staging the show. The police concluded that the vault could have been robbed up to two weeks in advance of the bombing." She smiled.

"That's good news." Jayne said.

River nodded and sat gingerly in the chair across from him.

She licked her lips and pushed her hair over her shoulder. Jayne's eyes followed both movements, bolstering her courage.

She wasn't imagining his regard. He should definitely be seducible.

"It has come to my attention that we are attracted to one another." River said in a rush.

That wasn't quite in the plan either. Nor was the blush that heated her cheeks.

Jayne's eyes widened and he edged away from her, hitting the arm of the couch. "I ain't never touched you like I shouldn't have."

"What if I asked you to?" River bit her lip.

None of this was going the way she envisioned it. Perhaps she should have entered the room nude. That seemed to work in lurid novels.

"But…" He looked around wildly, half expecting to see crew members ready to pounce as soon as he admitted he thought about her. Desired her.

"What if I touched you first?" River stayed where she was in the chair half a room away from him. He already seemed spooked enough.

He breathed in sharply. "Then I should stop you. But I don't think I would."

River let her mouth form a smile. "Why not?"

"Because I've been thinking about sexin you since I first saw you." He admitted. "Haven't always liked you, but I always wanted you."

River felt warmth seep back through her, settling in her belly again.

"I don't think I could stop myself." He admitted.

"Would you want to stop yourself? Or me?" She asked, sensing something important in the question.

"Feel like I should want to." He frowned, then exhaled. "But, no, I wouldn't want to stop either of us, if you're agreeable, that is."

River stood and joined him on the couch. He flinched.

She backed up, offering him more room. "Why do you think you should want to stop us?" This question was important too.

"Because you're a nice girl." He frowned again. "Nice girls shouldn't. Nice girls are for marrying, not for sexing when you should know better."

Jayne stood. "Excuse me." He rolled his magazine in his hands. "I'll be in my bunk."

River watched him go, feeling…

"Jayne?" She called after him.

He stopped just inside the door.

"Marry me?" She was shocked to hear those words falling from her mouth, but knew she meant them.

She knew him very well. She'd worked with him for years now.

More than that, he knew her. He knew all her flaws, or at least most of them. They would suit each other.

"Kids?" He asked wistfully, not looking at her.

"A few." She agreed.

"Can I think about it?" He asked.

"Yes." River stood and went to the opposite side of the room. "But it would be nice if… if Nona could be there."

They would be back on Hera in about ten days, who knew when they'd go back after that.

River fled. She was in her room, breathing hard into her pillow, before he left the lounge.


	5. Thinking

River chewed all her fingernails off waiting for him to answer.

She found herself preoccupied with thinking about him. Imagining him naked.

To distract herself she worked through Derrick's basic Russian course.

She read Pushkin and Tolstoy off the Cortex using an interlineal translation. Then she listened to recordings of them being read aloud.

She read a dozen other authors, some of them modern, in the original.

She avoided him, except for mealtimes. Then she occasionally forgot herself enough to stare moon-eyed in his direction.

Jayne noticed. It made him nervous. He wasn't sure of himself yet.

Inara noticed. It made her worry.

Kaylee noticed. It made her bouncy and hopeful.

Simon noticed. It made him frown.

Zoë noticed. She took to watching them both speculatively.

Mal didn't notice. Boob.

Naturally, Zoë was the one who approached her.

"River?" Zoë came to the younger woman's door. "Can we talk?"

"Of course." River sat up, pushing away a data reader displaying an obscure novel called _Cement_. In the original Russian, of course.

Zoë sat on the chair beside River's narrow bed.

"I've been listening to Jayne." Zoë said. "He's been saying some peculiar things."

River bit her lip. "What exactly?"

"Wasn't too clear. Something along the lines that you two might be getting hitched." Zoë said. "Care to say anything on that topic?"

"I asked him." River pulled her legs up under her chin, hugging her knees. "He doesn't have to say yes."

Zoë blinked. "There have been stranger couples, I suppose. You love him?"

It was River's turn to blink in surprise. "No, I never said that."

"I don't understand then." Zoë said.

"We fit together like two pieces of a puzzle." She closed her eyes.

"I will never find someone who complements me better. Who sees every part of me, genius child, crazy killer woman, pilot, criminal mastermind, dancer."

She opened her eyes and speared Zoë with them.

"Attractive woman. He sees all that, but still just sees River. I wouldn't have to hide any piece of myself from him."

"River..." Zoë began, but she didn't seem to know what to say.

"He would be a good husband. He would be kind even if he isn't always gentle. He would take good care of our children. He likes children."

"How long have you been courting?" Zoë asked, feeling even more off kilter.

River blinked again. "We haven't been." She shook her head. "At least I don't think we've been."

"You aren't courting or sexing or even kissing, you just asked him to marry you, out of the starry black, and he's seriously considering it?" Zoë stared.

"Yes, at least, I don't think he's ruled it out conclusively." River said.

"No, he ain't ruled it out." Zoë agreed. She looked in the direction of the dinning room. She'd left him up there, getting drunk and convincing himself he wanted to say yes.

River smiled at the words and the thoughts. "Well, that's good."

"You're really serious about this?" Zoë asked.

"Not a thing to trifle about." River said. "It is the rest of my life I'm considering. Wifely duties, motherhood, merging lives." She grinned. "Sex with Jayne."

"Ain't sure I can sympathize with that last one, but the others I can tell you are worth the pain they cause." Zoë said softly. "I'm still sorry Wash and I never had a child."

River nodded.

"You aren't afraid he'd be unfaithful?" Zoë asked.

River paused. "That would hurt, wouldn't it?"

Zoë watched her, waiting for her to say more. River didn't even bite her lip. She just looked the other woman in the eye and left it at that.

Zoë stood. "Excuse me."

* * *

River was in search of sustenance.

The odd fluctuations in Jayne's mental presence were immaterial to her intentions. He just happened to be in the room she intended to visit.

Once she entered the dinning area, however, it was natural that she investigate his altered state.

Jayne was drinking hard today. He would run out before he killed himself. The bottle in front of him was almost gone.

He was unkempt. His goatee needed trimming. His clothing was wrinkled as if he'd slept in it.

His odor was apparent from the doorway. Liquor, strong socks and stale sweat.

Yesterday's workout clothes. She identified. Steeped in the laundry basket overnight.

Unconventional perfume.

Interesting transformation. He had been his normal, crude yet cleanly self at dinner last night.

"Is this a display intended to disgust me?" River tilted her head to get another perspective on the scene.

"Gu'way." Jayne slurred almost incomprehensively. "M tryn'a think."

River surveyed his mental, emotional and physical state. She decided amusement was the only portion of her instinctive response that would be helpful.

"Right because impairing your brain _helps_ you to think." River let her lips twist wryly.

She turned towards the food lockers, keeping her laughter silent. If he was going to pickle himself he should eat. He should also ingest water and vitamins.

She frowned. Bar food was generally greasy. Would frying something be most appropriate? She looked in the various cupboards for ideas.

She glanced back at Jayne. He was watching her backside with animal hunger.

Possibly she should have plied him with liquor before trying to seduce him.

That might well have worked, especially in conjunction with nudity. Her inexperience was showing.

River had a larger objective now. Matrimony. Stability. Formality.

When he noticed she was watching him, Jayne focused doggedly on his bottle.

Right. She should just make what she felt like eating and hope he would eat whatever was set in front of him. He normally did.

Cooking was a strange adventure to River. So similar to Chemistry class. Except that your aim was to produce an experiment people wouldn't mind ingesting.

River always liked Chemistry. Maybe this was more like alchemy.

She decided that the chances of Jayne voluntarily taking a vitamin pill were negligible.

She would therefore administer it through their food instead. Wouldn't hurt her any.

She scooped a double dose of the white vitamin powder into the skillet.

Her choices were not random, they were based on previous trials and configured to avoid actual revulsion on the part of those who would partake.

The end product was not slimy or chalky or malodorous.

River laughed silently again and licked the spoon. Not bad. Needs salt.

Was Jayne drunk enough to ignore the bluish cast their meal had acquired? She eyed him. Perhaps. Especially if she did.

She served up two bowls and joined Jayne at the table.

He scowled at her.

She didn't mention the food steaming in front of him. She knew her partner better than that.

Instead she just started eating, occasionally making appreciative noises.

Jayne's aura was still swirling in odd ways. He picked up his chopsticks.

The more she ate, the better River liked the results of her experiment. She filed the formula and procedure in a mental box marked 'recipes.'

Jayne finished his meal first, even though she'd dished him the larger share. It was a compliment, an odd one, but in some cases you take what you can get.

River was sort of surprised he hadn't said anything else yet. Never mind. Neither of them were going far and the conversation would be more productive when he was done 'thinking.'

River took both bowls to the sink, washed them and set them to dry.

Would he be receptive to water at this point? She decided to risk it.

"Water is life." She told him as she placed a tall glass in front of him.

It was a reflex that made him lift the glass to his lips. He was annoyed with himself by the time he set the half drained glass back on the table.

River saw his next move in slow motion before he made it. His drink muddled brain didn't even know it was telegraphing.

His grip on her arm was hard, it approached bruising force. She forgave him that.

She allowed his manhandling passively. Didn't object to being pulled into his lap. Didn't even gasp or comment at the rough intimacy of his fumbling caresses.

She also didn't dignify his deliberate abusiveness with a positive response. This behavior was not turning her on. It might almost be amusing, but should not be encouraged.

Jayne slumped back in his seat, leaving River perched on his knee.

She knew him plenty well enough. River raised an eyebrow inquiringly.

"Ain't ya mad or nuthin?" Jayne finally spoke. "Don't you…" His voice trailed off.

"Happily ever after is _your_ dream, Jayne. I'm not a fairy tale princess."

River took advantage of her position to touch Jayne's face lovingly. Their first intentional tender caress.

"But it's a dream I like. One I'd rather like to participate in." She let her fingers comb his hair, rubbing against his scalp.

He moaned, leaning his head into her hand.

River stood before he could act on his intention to touch her again. Gently this time.

"We'll talk again when you're sober." River promised.

She crossed the room.

"River." The croak of his voice and the intensity behind the word made her pause at the door.

"I know who you are, Jayne." River said solemnly. "I don't require a demonstration."

She left then. She hoped she had helped him with his 'thinking.'


	6. Commitment

Note: Quotations in _**bold italics**_ should be read as lines spoken in Russian.

* * *

Jayne was clean and sober when _Serenity_ touched down in the Stari Novgorod Docks.

River could appreciate the irony in the name now. Old Newcity. Made even funnier if you knew there was a city called Novgorod on Earth-That-Was.

Mal reluctantly agreed to a three day visit. The crew would return to _Serenity_ to sleep.

River hoped they could arrange everything in three days. Assuming there was anything to arrange.

River refused to assume anything. Her instincts told her things were leaning in the direction she preferred.

Jayne could be unpredictable.

River was looking for an opening. She needed to talk to him, and he was still… was he actually avoiding her, or were they just…

In an uncharacteristic show of largesse, Mal hired a van to ferry them all to Nona's house and back. Zoë drove. The rental agency liked her driving records better than Mal's.

Nona met them at the door.

River surprised everyone by greeting her in fluent, if oddly accented Russian.

Jayne looked more shell-shocked than anyone.

Before anyone could react, Kolya, Sasha and Misha ran over from their yard, nearly bowling Jayne over. He chased them off, all four howling with laughter.

Smiling, River made the necessary introductions in Jayne's absence.

"Those hooligans." Nona sighed. "They've been so excited that Zhenya was returning. I'm glad I can just shove them out the back door, otherwise they would have driven me totally crazy. Come in, come in."

"Leave your shoes." River whispered, demonstrating.

"Excuse me," Leina said, navigating her way through the crowd. "I must go rescue my cousin. _**I'll send him right in, Nona**_."

The shoeless crew of _Serenity_ followed River into the living room.

Jayne spoke from the door a moment later, he still had his boots on, so he stayed outside.

"_**Ma! The boys won't settle unless I spend some time with them. I'll take them down to the park for an hour or so.**_" Jayne hugged his mother, who had joined him in the hall.

"_**You're right, of course. They're too worked up.**_" Nona agreed. "_**Hurry back.**_"

"_**I'll go along**_." River offered, slipping her shoes back on. "_**I could use some air**_."

And she wanted to talk to Jayne.

"Yeah, come on." Jayne agreed. He was radiating the discomfort the inevitable topic provided him.

The children ran around them in circles and practically led them to the park down the street.

The boys rushed off to climb, leaving the adults room to talk.

"You have considered my proposal?" River asked, her mouth feeling dry.

Jayne sat on a bench and watched the children. "Yeah, I considered it." He agreed. "And I considered how I shouldn't want to go along with it half as much as I do."

"But you do? Want to?" She tried to keep the hope out of her voice.

Jayne growled low in his throat. Then he sighed. "Yeah, I want to." He scuffed his boot along the ground. "What about you? Have you changed your mind, do you still want to marry me? I can be an ass."

"I haven't changed my mind. I still want to tie my life to yours." She smiled up at him and laid a hand on his shoulder. "We're partners. This is a logical step for us."

"Logical?" Jayne's brow knit together. "Shouldn't it be emotional or passionate or something?"

River smiled and shifted herself into his lap. "Emotional will come, passionate is just beneath the surface."

She snuggled into his chest and smiled as his arms reached up to hug her to him. She felt so safe in his arms.

"I don't properly love you." Jayne warned.

"Neither do I." River grinned up at him.

"Marriage is important to me, sacred. We'll have to be faithful, ain't really marriage without the faithful. I'd kill anyone you were messing around with." He said the words so bluntly, with such minimal emotion that River knew he meant them.

"So would I." River challenged.

A huge grin split Jayne's face. "Good. Keep me in line. I wanna be a good example to our kids."

He kissed the top of her head and breathed in the scent of her hair.

He chuckled. "Looks like we're being a bad example to Leina's kids."

Kolya, Misha and Sasha squealed when River looked up at them. They were all on the fence surrounding the picnic area.

"_**Kiss her! Kiss her!"**_ They chanted, shrieking with laughter.

River looked up at her fiancé. "One should always be a bad example to other people's children." She said, smiling softly.

The boys cheered when their lips met.

Their next kiss had an audience too. There was less cheering. 

River prefered to keep the arguing away from Jayne's family as much as possible. To that end, they waited to make their announcement until the crew returned to _Serenity_ that night.

It was early by ship standards, so everyone gathered in the lounge. They were still feeling social.

River and Jayne sat side by side on the couch.

River looked at Jayne.

Jayne looked at River.

Both smiled. Both took steadying breaths. Both surveyed the cheerfully assembled crew.

"**_Do you want to say it or should I?_**" River asked in Russian. She was grateful they had a 'code' they could use.

"_**Should sound better coming from you**_." Jayne said nervously.

River considered him for a moment. She hadn't realized before how concerned he was about the probable angry responses. Some of his tension spilled over into her.

River bit her lip. Looked around again and opened her mouth.

"Jayne and I are getting married tomorrow." She winced inwardly. She could have led up to that better.

The statement dropped like a bomb on their peaceful evening. Everyone was suddenly talking at once.

Except Zoë. She was watching, gauging responses, preparing to stop rash action before it started.

"Quiet! When did this happen?" Mal's voice rose above the clamor. "How long have you been romancing behind my back?"

River and Jayne exchanged a glance. Both had to bite their lips to keep from laughing.

"They haven't been." Zoë said. "Unless there's something I don't know."

River shook her head. "All my idea. We aren't… We haven't…"

Mal turned on Jayne. "Tell me what's going on here."

"I like her cooking." Jayne said cryptically. "Plenty of grounds for marriage."

The whole crew winced. They were sure he was being factitious. Few of them liked River's cooking. She was too apt to serve sludge.

"Will you make me that blue stuff again?" Jayne asked. "Like you made before."

"I remember." River laughed and leaned against him.

"I'm serious, guys. It was really good." Jayne smiled fondly down at her.

"You were also drunk." River reminded him placidly. "Your taste buds could have been faulty."

Jayne grinned at her in a way that made her toes curl.

"Stop that." Mal ordered. "That leaning against each other thing. I won't have this!"

Jayne inched away. River followed.

"Just how do you intend to stop it?" Zoë asked in a deceptively calm voice.

Mal looked at his partner, his second and most of the fight left him.

"We don't have to stay if we're unwelcome." River said. "We have our money from the vault job. We could buy our own ship or a house in the suburbs."

She was talking to Jayne now, watching his face. "A few doors down from Grandma, plenty of cousins to play with."

She could see the dream building in his mind. Jayne smiled wryly and shook his head clear.

"Take some job lifting other people's shit around in a place where I could never even shoot a gun, much less wear one full time. Too many people around, too many rules." He grinned. "Besides, I was counting on our kids growing up with Kaylee's."

Kaylee gasped.

"How are you feeling, anyway?" Jayne smirked at the mechanic.

"How do you know…?" Simon began.

Jayne laughed. "Sudden nausea? There's nuthin wrong, but Doc hangs on her like a leech? Ain't hard to read the signs." Jayne looked around at the lot of them. "I'm a tracker, remember? In a week or two everyone will know. There won't be any hiding it."

Kaylee made a face at him.

"_**At least I'm marrying you before I make babies with you**_." Jayne murmured quietly in Russian.

"That's another thing." Mal complained. "How is it that you two know a whole language I didn't know you knew?"

"I always knowed it." Jayne shrugged. "Most folk do who come from Stari Novgorod."

"Captain, I know eight languages you still don't know I know." River rolled her eyes. "I have a gift for languages."

"Among other things." Simon agreed. "You're really sure about this, _mei mei_"

"As sure as I've ever been about anything." River affirmed.

Simon groaned and rubbed his face with his hand. "Fine. Just don't come crying to me when your husband starts being all… Jayne."

River laughed. "I promise. I'll complain to Kaylee instead."

* * *

The wedding was small, although the groom's side significantly out represented the bride's. 

They had a justice of the peace perform the short ceremony in Nona's back yard.

River and Jayne both missed Shepherd Book.

Jayne booked them a room at the Intourist Hotel in Stari Novgorod.

River didn't expect him to carry her over the threshold. That custom was no longer part of the traditions on Osiris. Jayne laughed.

As he dropped her on the huge bed, he told her she should be glad he didn't feel obliged to put her in through the window.

Then went back for their bags.

"Husband?" River licked her lips and watched him as he pushed the door shut.

"Yes, wife?" He grinned at her.

"You don't regret our decision, do you?" She sat up, dangling her feet over the edge of the bed.

He crossed the room to her. "Why? Are you changing your mind already?" He lifted her chin to look into her face; brushed callused fingers over her cheek.

"No." River relaxed slightly. His emotions were a riot and easy to misinterpret.

"Good, cause you ain't never getting a divorce from me." He was smiling, but she felt the iron belief beneath the statement.

River laughed. "Not even if I asked very politely?"

"What's going on in that super-brain of your's River-girl?" Jayne looked worried. He sat heavily on the bed next to her. "We made a decision, a commitment, this was all your idea, remember?" He ran both hands through his hair.

"Are you going to sex me now that I'm your wife." She twisted her hands together. Was it too forward just to kiss him again? She wasn't sure, his thoughts were all tied into anxiety about what they'd just done.

"Need doctors to get kids if there's no sexin." He swallowed hard.

River felt relieved. He was squishing it, but he still desired her. She could feel that now, under the anxiety.

"But you'd rather do it the sex way?" River smirked at him. "So would I."

A load of tension eased out of his shoulders. "I'll have to flush the contraceptives out of my system before there could be kids." He admitted.

"That's comforting, actually, it will give us time to adjust to our new roles." River bit her lip. "Shall we practice anyway?"

River angled her body towards him, placing a suggestive hand on his knee.

The sheer volume of lust that rolled off him startled her. "Yeah."


End file.
